The saying is true that no 2 pregnancies are 100% alike. Whether it be the way you carry, your symptoms, or just about anything else, pregnancies will differ in some ways – even if just one. Anxiety during pregnancy has been something I have dealt with this time around, more than the previous pregnancies. Maybe it has to do with my age as my first 2 I was in my early 20’s and this time I am in my early 30’s. Or maybe it has to do with life changes and events. But all I know is the anxiety during pregnancy is definitely something I am dealing with now.
With my first, I do not recall any anxiety during pregnancy. I was also only 20 years old and turned 21 before having my daughter. I don’t recall ever having any anxious thoughts or feelings. I also went about pregnancy without the thought in my mind of there even being such a thing as different complications, etc.
In a way, this was great because who needs those thoughts consuming your mind when you are pregnant? The less negativity the better. I literally went about this anxiety without any fear. I also NEVER EVER googled things back then (wish same went for now!), so there really was no concern for me unless my Midwife was, which she wasn’t.
In my second pregnancy, I was bit anxious. That was true up until I was about 5 months. The story goes like this: I walked around my apartment one day and stepped on a fingernail. Yup, sounds weird, right? But according to the Jews, a pregnant woman stepping on a nail is dangerous as it could cause a miscarriage G-d forbid.
Now you can only imagine what went through my brain that second it happened. BUT, there are exceptions to this; for instance, the nail has to be in the original spot it fell. So if it moved just a little, it does not count. So technically the nail I stepped on probably moved a tiny bit making it not count, but I didn’t know that! And for the rest of my pregnancy, I literally lived in fear all because that one nail I stepped on.
I also dealt with occasional spotting during my second pregnancy. OMG, the first time I saw it, I freaked out and ran to my Midwife. Apparently this happened the entire pregnancy and was completely normal, thankfully. But seeing blood during pregnancy for anyone is no fun and this contributed to the anxiety during pregnancy as well. Even so this happened before the nail issue, it wasn’t that concerning to me since it apparently was something “normal” for that pregnancy.
Pregnancy #3 is a whole new situation. After my second was born, I suffered from anxiety and some bouts of depression. Some days were better than others, some days no anxiety at all. But because I dealt with anxiety for a while and probably at that point going to continue dealing with it the rest of my life, the anxiety during pregnancy was there from the start. Well, the anxiety was already there before getting pregnant.
Besides for the usual anxiety, I now have anxiety during pregnancy about pregnancy related things. From the moment I got that positive test result, I was a nervous wreck. Especially the first 4-5 months when I couldn’t really feel the baby, I kept wondering if everything was okay. And the Googling started and I read about silent miscarriages and all hell broke lose. If you want, google it if you are unsure what it means. But take it from me, if you are reading this and are pregnant, DO NOT SEARCH about it. Leave it, it will be better that way. The less one knows, the better.
Literally though, in general everything this time around freaks me out. The anxiety is just overall annoying. I just want to enjoy it on the daily. Obviously good and bad days, and mainly good, but the anxiety is still there. Between having routine pregnancy tests to foods I am eating to wondering if the baby is breech because of hiccup location (don’t ask!), it has definitely been a ride so far. But honestly, I wouldn’t change it for the world!
In all reality, I feel this time around because my age as well as the anxiety during pregnancy, I am appreciating it more. Back when I was younger, all I remember was I was pregnant and going to have a baby. This time it is that, but so much more as well. The excitement is different too. This could also be due to the fact that I have a huge gap between my first 2 and this one. The girls will be 10 and almost 8 by the time #3 is born G-d willing.
I am literally soaking in all the pregnancy feelings, baby movements and rubbing my belly, etc. this time. Something I don’t recall doing the first 2 times – probably because I was much much younger? For me, age definitely changes people and how they see life. This is true for me, but others may feel differently.
**I am seeing an acupuncturist for my anxiety as well as to continue maintaining a healthy pregnancy. Acupuncture has been a lifesaver and has lessened the daily anxiety during pregnancy. Plus, it’s healthy to do routinely during pregnancy. THAT I’ll let you google ;)**
Did you deal with anxiety during pregnancy one pregnancy and not the other? Was the anxiety in pregnancy the first and not the second? Or like to, pregnancies other than the first? Would LOVE to hear others experiences in the comments below!
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