As parents, it is natural we try to shape our children to be more like us and the way we expect them to be. For instance: organized, smart, etc. We sometimes tend to forget that our children are not our “project,” but simply our children. We accidentally and not purposefully forget to enjoy them as the children they are and sometimes this can cause bonding issues. This is why I will be sharing 9 tips for better bonding with kids (because I need it too!).
Children need a strong relationship with their parents and sometimes us parenting, we forget about the nurturing and bonding aspect. That is what our children need the most. We need to slow down, soak in every bit of our child and bond as much as we can, and without an agenda!
As we learn these 9 tips for better bonding with kids, we need to remember it takes time and effort. It’s not going to change overnight. Parenting in itself is hard, but by maintaining a close relationship and open communication, we stay connected to our children at all stages of their life. That is a parents goal – Bonding, but with a long-term effect.
Plus, when a parent and child have a bond, it makes parenting easier since the child feels more connected and in turn, they are more inclined to want to listen, help and follow directions. Also, children who have a connection with the parent are more willing to talk about things going on in their lives.
9 Tips For Better Bonding With Kids
Tell Them You Love Them
EVERYDAY. On repeat, regardless of their age. Even on hard days. Let them know you love them unconditionally. Of course, explain to them about their behavior if it was not okay, but still show and tell them you love them. It is very important for a parent to communicate their love for their child at a time of conflict. Love helps strengthen the relationship between a parent and child.
Play With Your Kids
Playing with your kids is important. Get down on their level. Do what they are doing. It is not what is being played, but rather the time and commitment you are giving your child. They will see this and feel amazing that their parent is interested in what they are doing. They need that feeling and want it too. It will bring a smile to their face, you will see!
Make Bedtime Rituals Important
This means every night when it is bedtime. Create a bedtime ritual in your home. After they have brushed their teeth and are in bed, you can do a nightly 10 minutes reading together sitting in their bed or just discuss how to day has gone. Then of course give them a big hug and kiss goodnight with an “I love you.” Kids need to end their day on a good note, especially and more so on the hard days.
Let Your Kid Help You
This is a hard one! Many parents miss out on the closeness with their child due to not always allowing them to help. Let them help in the kitchen, cleaning around the house and so on. Various tasks and chores around the house that the child is given can make them feel powerful. Let them help by also letting them give their opinion. Try asking some questions like “what do you think?” They love when their opinions are heard because it shows that they matter.
Eat A Meal A Day As A Family
This can be hard because different schedules, work, etc. But if you can get one meal in a day for the family to sit together, this will help greatly. It is so important. It helps set a stage for conversations to start. Conversations turn into bonding. Turn off all electronics – TV, phones, and the like. Eating a meal as a family is a great quality time moment.
Take The Opportunity To Have One-on-One Time
Make special dates / outings with your child. Just the 2 of you alone. Do things such as go out for ice-cream, a movie or even just a day in the park. That time alone allows the child to feel special. Celebrate each other individually as that is VERY important. This is still achievable if you have more than one kid. Each child needs their one-on-one time with their parent, especially with multiple siblings. They each need to feel special.
Respect Your Child’s Choices
This can mean what they chose to wear for the day. You may not like how they paired a top with a bottom, but it is important to respect their choices as an individual. At a young age, children are already seeking independence and parents can help them achieve that by being supportive.
Make Them A Priority In Your Life
Children need to know and feel they are a priority in their parents’ life. They can sense when the parent is stressed and not paying much attention to them. They need to feel important to to their parent and that they are their main priority. As parents, we tend to forget parenthood isn’t always about worrying about the little things. It is about enjoying our children and celebrating them. We need to take advantage of every single precious moment.
Accept Kids Temperment
Easygoing, challenging, slow-to-warm up or mixed tempered are classified as the 4 categories and each child is in one of these categories starting at a young age. We need to accept their temperment and adjust to their personality accordingly. If not, there will be a lot of clashing between the parent and child. Accepting a child for who they are will help them feel secure and okay with their personality and identity.
Being a parent is hard. It is no easy task for anyone. But when it comes to our children, we need to work on having a good relationship and bonding with them. They need it. As parents, we need it too. If your bond isn’t where you want it to be with your child, try out these 9 tips for better bonding with kids. I know I myself need to practice some of them!