Common misconception: Putting your kids and family first makes you a better mom.
Many mothers will go through their days wondering if what they are doing as a mother is ‘enough‘ and thinking “am I doing this right?” This is mainly where a mothers stress and anxiety stems from and can impact their parenting and affect their kids (you can read more about the impacts of a parents stress and anxiety HERE). And this is a reason why Self Care Tips to Make You a Better Mom is important.
If you ask a mother: “Do you take time for yourself?” you will get 1 of 2 answers:
- “Yes! Staying healthy and sane helps me parent better.”
- “No, my kids come first.”
Fun Fact: Most mothers will say #2 which causes them to push off any self care for themselves. They do not realize self care and their health is what is important and needed to be there 100% for their family.
It is just like when going on an airplane. In the safety videos they show that if cabin pressure is low and breathing masks come down, ALWAYS put your own mask on first before helping anyone else, like your kids. There is a clear reason for why this is so. How can someone help others if they can’t help themselves?
Now, I always thought putting myself before my kids was selfish and for the longest time, I looked and felt like a shlump. And believe me, it was a gross and bad feeling. I slowly learned the hard way because I was not taking any time to care for myself. I wasn’t eating well, sleeping well, etc.
Once a mom deals with her kids, family, pets if they have any, etc. she has basically no time or energy for herself. How are mothers supposed to function properly when she doesn’t give herself a half hour a day to manage her own needs? Think about that for a moment.
“Me Time” needs to be every single mothers priority. That is the only way they will be able to care for loved ones, but properly. Because a mother taking care of herself puts her in the position to be a better mother overall.
Eventually, if a mother does not take care of herself, she will most likely reach her breaking point. This can and will cause feelings of resentment, depletion and even isolation could potentially start happening. Women need to NOT feel that way. They should feel more centered and by doing so, this means taking time for themselves.
PLUS, mothers are models for their children. Children can see and sense if the mother is burnt-out and stressed. This is not good. Instead, mother should model “taking care of themselves.” That way, children realize and know that self-care is just as important as taking care of others.
Self Care Tips to Make You a Better Mom
Get Physically Active:
Get on your feet. Take a walk around the block for some fresh air. Maybe do some yoga or a short 20 minute exercise routine. Getting yourself on your feet and moving is great for your health as well as for managing stress and anxiety.
Give Your Brain A Boost:
Do you like writing? Write in a journal. Maybe blog like me as that keeps me feeling centered as I enjoy it. Read a book. Draw. Meditate. Anything that will help your brain relax and in turn, give it that boost to be able to do life things.
Love baths? Take a nice long relaxing one. Maybe schedule a spa day (well not too long!) at your local spa. Give yourself a spa night even at home. How about a mini shopping spree for a couple hours. New things can make you feel good.
Find Time For Your Friends:
Don’t shut out your friends. Make time for them too. Spending time with your friends makes you feel human. Go out for a lunch date. Even going over to one another’s homes for kids to play with each other while you chit chat is a great option.
Do Something Different:
Branch out a bit. Do something you normally wouldn’t do. Maybe take on a new hobby. Gardening, arts… I am sure there is a new project you want to tackle!
Test Your Skills:
Love cooking? Up your game. This can be fun and if cooking helps you relax, make a new dish. Play a sport you love and haven’t played in a while. Even swimming if you have pool. Maybe even take an art class once a week!
Host a game night after the kids are in bed with friends and family. Go to a comedy show, maybe even just get up and dance around!
The above are just some ideas of things a mother can do for some self care. Self care comes in all different shapes and sizes. It is not all about one thing. One mother may enjoy her 30 minute yoga while another may enjoy her 10 minutes of being able to do her beauty routine.
It can even help waking up a bit earlier before the kids to get your self-care in. Try to figure out a schedule that works for you. Play around with times until you know when it works best. Because lets be real moms, it becomes nearly impossible to do some self care if we don’t set aside a time of day for us to do so or wake up a little earlier. LIFE BECOMES HECTIC.
There is also a 30-30-30-30 Rule to keep in mind and practice:
30 minutes to connect with your partner.
30 minutes to really listen to the kids.
30 minutes to get ready for the next day.
30 minutes for moms quiet time.
Also, please, please, please do NOT ignore your beauty routines. You had them prior to kids, you should have them even after having and caring for kids. Keep them up because you do not want to look older than you actually are, beautiful mama! You can read more on Skincare Routines HERE.
Moms, make sure you get adequate sleep, eat well and healthy, stay active, stay connected with your friends and family, put your healthcare on the calendar AND most importantly, stay connected to YOURSELF, because as moms and day to day life chores such as carpools, laundry, meals, etc. we tend to forget ourselves and years are flying by fast before our eyes. We don’t get those years back. Staying connected to our inner-most passions helps us stay alive and joyful. So practice some self-care, even a few minutes a day. You need it!
And if you would love some ideas for beauty products for your self-care routines, check this post out HERE sharing my current favorite beauty products of 2020!
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Photo Credits: Pixabay